SKYRIM: as reviewed by the Durpartment-Ten hours

SKYRIM

The Durpartment is pleased to announce, that the game "skyrim" has now been given our official seal of approval.

We've played it extensively, and have come up with the conclusion that it is almost flawless in every way, a true masterpiece worthy of the Durpartment's recognition.

Upon our first inspection of said game, we discovered that the graphics were unparalleled in realism, a truly orgasmic sight that even made our beloved Patrick, wet his pants in shear awe.

Of course, it didn't end there.


The first quest has us immediately thrust into the violent and unpredictable world of skyrim, apparently there are "dragon" creatures this time, which are very convincing and intense.

Upon exit of the first cave, we discover an icy wonderland unlike any other we've seen (in a virtual world, that is). There is tons of wilde life, which of course makes the must blood thirsty among us, want to start slashing away instantaneously, all under the backdrop of Spiralling monoliths that reach for the aethar!

it is a truly remarkable experience.

We visited our first town in the game, and once we chatted up the natives, we went all texas chain saw massacre on them, and mutilated their pets, children, etc, WE LEFT NO BOB ALIVE! *joker laugh*. After that, we sacked their goods, and set out for our next town, or should I say city, as it was a much larger town in the east. Along our way, we stumbled upon a lone horseman trader, and after buying some new toys for us to play with, we made tasty napalm of him, and stole his horse.

We came across the next citadel, a quaint little village where we met the chieftain, who requested we vaporise the dragon threat outside of town.

We made quick work of the dragon with a few rockets and lots of napalm. Upon its death, something strange happened to patrick, There was a thunderous roar, and suddenly light and heat started to engulf patrick. We were startled at the sight, but he was ok.

After the glowing spectacle, we went about our marry business and continued to pillage the countryside, searching for Clues.

We then began our long journey up Mt.Everrest, which took us three days and nights to climb.

When we made summit, we were greeted by a few olde wise men who gifted patrick with a voice, for he was a mute prior to this time.

When patrick spoke, it was like that of a million angels. When we heard the voice of patrick, we were changed.

We then began our descent into the unknown, where mysteries, enigma, and adventure continue to enthral our imaginations. 

We'll keep you posted!